Last time we learned about the 3 types of love and briefly introduced the idea that we are confusing the term “love” with infatuation. Today we are going to go through Chip Ingram’s 12 steps to discerning the difference when you are asking yourself …
“Is this true, genuine love?”
Remember Sarah that I mentioned in the first week? Well Sarah’s best friend gave her some advice on what love is and now she has a totally different outlook on love.
Her friend told her that (1) love needs to grow through time, not go in and out like infatuation. (2) Love grows out of seeing the whole person for who they are. Where infatuation only sees’s one thing. I.e. job, looks, and money. (3)True love is focused on the other person. Infatuation is self-centered. (4) Genuine love is only focused on ONE person. Where you can be infatuated with one or more people at the same time. (5) Love not only requires and nurtures trust and security. Whereas infatuation is blind to problems. (6)When you are in love you work for the other persons benefit. (7) When a couple is in love they face problems realistically and try to solve them. Infatuation ignores problems and pushes them away. (8) Love knows that it’s ok to have a little distance and it is important for the relationship to grow. Infatuation see’s true love as being together 24/7.(9)Physical attraction is a small part of Love but it is the main focus of infatuation. (10) Love waits for the appropriate time later in the relationship to show affection. Infatuation shows it early on. (11) Love endures, commits and is stable. Infatuation is sporadic and unpredictable. And lastly, (12) Love doesn’t rush into marriage; it’s takes it’s time and knows the importance and value of the commitment. Infatuation rushes and feels and urge to commit instantly with little thought. Used together with God these steps will change how we look at the meaning of love.
Verses for Reflection:
Genesis 29:1-20, 2 Samuel 13